He escapes!

Right when I am finally ready for my big revenge...the captor escapes. I heard something about going to Japan, whatever that is! I must reference my underground network(the unsightly moles) to see what the word is.

Mmmmm, bagels!

This one keeps dragging me around, she claims to be a freedom fighter. But part of me just doesn't quite believe her...there is something a little off.

Triple short espressocino

I must admit my weakness for caffeine, It is the soft spot in my armor of life. I can't seem to keep this from being underlined...oh for opposable thumbs!

So close, but so far away

The captor is an elusive prey, I follow yet I cannot get to him. This is maddening!

Little people

A small human found me laying unconscious in the forest....was this part of the plan of my captor? When will my questions be answered??? Why must I store nuts for the winter?

Foiled

I observed the captor at his place of worship, it did not seem right to attack him there. Something about being struck by lightning.

This winter we'll eat!

After years of watching "hunters" go after deer/elk/raccoon....I have successfully completed my first hunt. I found an old hunters duck blind, where I have been hiding for the last month. After many various attempts at capturing a deer; with trip wire, grenades, roadside bombs, etc. None of those methods seemed to be right, finally I found a wounded deer and annoyed it to death.

Squirrel Hunter

Just when I thought I had figured out who my enemy is, another appeared. I was doing some recon and I stumbled across a squirrel hunter. He was only armed with an air soft handgun, but it was enough to catch me off guard. He's not as smart as he looks, when I regained consciousness I was able to trick him into a staring contest. I won, and he let me go...after I hog-tied him to his Ford pick-up.

In Limbo

I apologize for my long absence...I have actually been in hiding from those of my own kind. They seem to think that I am like them, ha ha ha. How could they know that being exposed to radiation has given me the intelligence of an 8 year old girl? All I can do is just toss them a nut and run the other way. Soon they will be in hibernation and I can commence my plan of revenge on the federal man. Soon.

Relentless

Not a night goes by without awakening from a nightmare. Spending time in the hole wears down your soul, pardon the pun. Even though I have been free for almost a week, I can't escape the dreams. The sounds of my captor going about his day. Relentless tapping of a keyboard, mundane conversation about something called "Cougar Football", and the gum chewing...the guy must have a jaw made of steel. You would think the night would be the easiest, the jail silent but for the sounds of the other unseen prisoners. This is when I would fear sleep, that the captor would return and torture me in my dreams. Now I must sleep, The Ride of the Valkyries is the only medicine I need.

Is this freedom?

After I was freed from my captivity I was stuck in this bag and was carried onto a boat. I was taken to Seattle. At first I was thrilled to be out of that government facility....
But then I wondered which was better...
After I got to know my new captors I began to like them. They taught me how to play B.S.
It really wasn't so bad.
No....
Not bad at all...
We had some Thai food at West Lake Center.
And I tried root beer. It was pretty good, definitely better than the prison rations they fed me.... I also showed the girls how you effectively kill someone. We documented this with their camera. I'll post them later.

Escape.

After 18 months of time in a federal prison I managed to escape. It wasn't easy, spending my days in solitary confinement. The hole is everything that you would expect: a dark lonely road to insanity. I need sleep. Soon I will tell the tale of my life, and why this man would be so cruel to a squirrel.